Not Ready.

So, I went to this amazing thing called Winterlight. It's at a wonderful place that is now one of my many "homes". This place goes by the name of Kanuga. I just got back today, and I already want to go again. Everybody keeps telling me they missed me. And I missed them. But I'm not ready to be home. I'm not ready to go back to everything that made me feel so horrible before. I want to go back there, where I was accepted by everyone for being who I am. Where I had friends who liked me for me, and not because I had cool stuff. Where people don't judge or hate. They nurture and accept and love. I want to keep that spirit. I'm not ready for the fear and the hate and the pain. I'm not ready to be back. I'm not ready to be the way I was before again. I know it's going to happen, because it always does. People here don't get it. And it's okay. They never will. But I hate that I will end up losing that Kanuga feeling. It's the only thing I've truly felt in a very long time.