Imagine

Imagine your best friend in the entire world. Now imagine them being deathly ill. Imagine how terrified you would be when you found out about their illness. Then imagine planning your next visit (knowing very well it will be your last chance to talk to that best friend), and then finding out the next morning that they have already passed away. Imagine realizing that you will never see that person again, or talk to them, or wait for them to finish getting on their favorite shoes before going outside to sit on the porch and talk. Imagine realizing that you missed your last chance to ever be with that person again. And imagine how hard that would be to go through.

Now, imagine that it's two months later, your listening to a few people talk, and they mention the old west and cowboy boots. You burst into tears on the spot, or get as close to it as you do in public, because your best friend used to have one pair of cowboy boots that they always wore, because you still miss that best friend like hell. And when you randomly think about them, how much you want to share something with them, or something happens that reminds you of them, you burst into tears.

Imagine all those feelings. Every. Last. One. And give me the best adjective-a single word or small phrase-that you can think of to describe it. Here's mine: Living hell. And here's my second best: My life for the past month and a half.