White Christmas

I didn't think I'd see a white Christmas for a while. The last one I had was when I was four. Living in Georgia, this is a big fat slice of AWESOMENESS. And I managed to convince my parental units to let me go run around in the snow and take pictures. While I was in only pj pants and a sweatshirt....and converse. :)

Look at my pretty picture. Enjoy :P

The Best Present

So, I know is Christmas is about celebrating the incarnation of Jesus, but to me it's also about spending time with my family. They argue, they yell, they're obnoxious and stubborn, but I love them. And Christmas is the one time of year we all come together and spend time with each other. This year was especially special (that's really fun to say aloud) because my dad didn't have to work. And I got a lot of really cool presents this year (Kindle, CAKE tickets, and a few others). But my favorite present this was, by far, spending time with my family where no one argued. It wasn't intentional. They didn't pretend to get along for my sake. They genuinely got along. And it was one of the best gifts I've recieved, ever. I just thought I'd share.

So, go forth and celebrate the incarnation of Jesus, and a wonderfully merry Christmas to you and yours. :)

Those Little Creatures

When I think of emotions, I think of little creatures. Each with its own appearance. Soft, fluffy, pink. Hard, cold, black. Bleak, dark, empty. Firey hot, bright as can be, dangerous. And then, your mind is like a house, styled to your personality. I've always pictured mine as one of those sleek, clean-lined, modern exterior houses. Then you walk in, and it's still modern, but there are crazy colors and shapes everywhere, there's beautiful art, and music is blasting. Typically, the emotions get to live in your mind, a few at a time at a time. And the emotions move stuff arond, they add stuff, they change the house a little. Some of them completely trash it, but it always gets cleaned back up. The house is never arranged the same way though. Each time something happens, it changes the house a little bit. I might just be tilting a picture frame, or scooting a chair over a little bit, changing the tv channel or switching cds in a stereo. But it's never the same, because your mind adapts. You adapt. I think that's something we all have to learn to do.

Clarity

I've recently learned that people will do some pretty crazy things to be able to feel. To feel the touch of a loved one, or the snow crunching under your feet, or even just the feel of your own skin. But it seems to me that people will do even crazier things to feel emotions. Nobody wants to go through life feeling nothing or not knowing how they feel. It can make you go crazy. To feel a thousand things at once, yet still feel nothing at all. All you want is a little clarity, to make your mind stop spinning long enough to be able to sort through what's going on. And then, when you can't feel anything, you just want to be able to know that you're still there. It's like one of my favorite songs says, "When everything feels like the movies, yea you bleed just to know you're alive. And I don't want the world to see me, cause I dont think that they'd understand." Not everybody chooses the same thing. Some people do drugs, some people cut, some people just deal on their own. Everybody has to choose their own poison, you know? Whatever it happens to be that works for them. So what's yours?

Another Random Revelation

I don't need my life to be just like someone else's. I don't need it to be just like the movies or fairy tales. It's my life, and I'll make it what I want it to be. And right now, it's pretty damn good.

Found

I've been lost in a pit of darkness
But now I'm ready to see the light,
I'm ready to find my way back home
Into the arms of those who love me.

Your clock starts ticking the day you're born
And that makes life a race against time
So live life to the fullest, and don't look back
Just keep moving on, moving forward
That's all any of us can really do

Tips for Bad Days:

1. Think of everything that happened that day, and pick one thing that happened that was better than everything else.
2. Talk to someone you love.
3. Listen to your favorite song.
4. Watch your favorite movie.
5. Eat your favorite snack.
6. Do something that makes you happy.
7. Try to turn the day around. Do everything in your power to make even just a little bit better.

Random

So, it's been a rough few weeks...or maybe it's been a month (I stopped keeping count after a while). But I've come to realize through this month that, you've always got someone you can count on. Whether it's your friends, your family, the love of your life, or some random person who sees you and says, "Hey, don't worry. Whatever it is, it'll work out." There's always someone there for you. You may not always know it, but that's because you have to admit you want the help for it to work. You have to let people in and trust them completely, with your whole heart. And if they break that trust, it's their loss. You have to learn to move on. You have to adapt. You have to laugh. You have to love. You have to live. You have to hope. And you absolutely have to trust. Maybe not everybody, but at least the people you want to keep around. It may take a lot of work, it may be excruciatingly painful to break through all the walls you've built, but it's not someone else's job to break through your walls. You have to do it yourself, and you have to want to do it. You have to be willing. You have to let others in. Because they're there. They're just waiting for you to show them that you're ready.

Cop's Kid-ness.

Depression's a bitch. Jsyk. Black Friday shopping= avoided this year, thankyou stomach virus.

So, I dunno if anyone besides my 3 followers actually read this, I would be surprised if they did, but for those of you who don't know, my dad's a police officer. And he had to work Thanksgiving this year....again. He almost always has to work the Holidays. All of them. Which is frustrating for me, because it means while everybody else is already bragging about gifts and how much they love the holidays cause they get to see their family, I'm sitting at home praying with all my life that the nut-jobs will leave my dad alone, so he can come home safe just one more night. But at the same time, I have to recognize that because of my dad's occupation, while I'm sitting at home praying for him, he's out protecting the general public and making sure that somebody else's dad, or mom, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, grandma, son, daughter, grandad, or other random relative gets home safely, so they don't have to sit at home like me, praying that they'll get home safe...just one. more. night. I don't really know why I decided to share this particular tid-bit. But I did. So yeah....thanks for reading.

I feel like I've just lost my best friend. And it hurts. And I have no clue what to do, because the one person I tell absolutely EVERYTHING won't talk to me. I'm so lost right now.

VENTTTT

Life's not supposed to feel like this
Like the movies
Like your body is just going through the motions
And you're so far off no one can get to you
Because life isn't the movies.
It's life
It's real
And everything was finally
Starting to feel real again
But now it's back to feeling a movie
So I guess I'll let it be
Just let it feel like a cinematic tragedy for a while
Until everyone decides to be on the same page again
So I can be a person again
Instead of a prop in someone else's life

For____....Who gives a shit anymore?

Hey, you know, everything was better.



For a while.



It was good.



For a while.



Looks like nothing's gonna last



Forever.



Guess my world is falling apart



Forever.

Piccolo/ three month anniversary

The piccolo. The instrument I have dreamed of playing since I was six. I ended up learning trumpet, but I finally get another chance to reattempt the fulfillment of my childhood dream. And it's great.

Even better than that, today was my 3 month anniversary with this amazing guy. His naellme is Devon, and I am completely and totally in love with him. He's my everything. And today was amazing, almost as amazing as the past three months have been, probably better. So yeah :) Today was a good day. I'm happy. You should be happy.

Challenge: Think of at least one good thing that happened to you today. It doesn't necessarily have to be happy or bright or amazing or een all that good, just something that was better than eerything else. Now, tell me that thing. Mine was that Devon brought me flowers and cake and candy. What's yours?

I'm not usually one to be all, "Can't we all just get along?" But right now, I'm just really fucking tired of listening to everyone I know argue. I'm completely done listening to it.

Cognition....Or A Lack Thereof

When you don't have to think
You don't have to hide
Behind a mask made of
Anger, pain, and frustration
When you don't have to think
You don't have to hide at all,
Because when you don't think
You can't feel, you can't feel at all
And sometimes...
Just sometimes...
That lack of emotion
Makes it so much easier
To make it through the day
Without having to worry
About whether they'll see
As you have to fight back the empty tears
And the sobs
As you fight back the breakdown
It's easier to make it through it all
When you don't have to think
And you can sit there
In a room full of people
And still be in your own little world
Where nothing matters,
Not a single thing

I hope he sees this. I wish I was brave enough to say it to his face.

I've worked hard on letting him in.....I was actually doing pretty well for a while. But I've come realize that, well, the majority of me is to terrified of opening up all the way. Part of me wants for him to be the glue that keeps me from coming undone. Part of me wants him to be who I run to when I'm tearing apart at the seams. I want to be able to run to him and let him stitch me back together piece by piece. But my instinct says not to let that happen. 'Cause what happens if one day he's just not there? I'm scared of being torn apart and left for nothing again.

My best friend:
Is the strongest person I know
She is the bravest person I know,
And the most caring
She puts up with my crap better than anyone else
She knows when it's appropriate to bring me candy in the middle of the night
She know when to buy me apple sauce
She knows me better than anyone else
She is independent
She is the imbodiment of determination
She is inspirational
She is an incredibly amazing individual....

But most of all,
She. Is. Back.

And I just wanted to let you all know.

False accusations
Made randomly out of spite
And frustration
Can only be forgiven so many times
Before, "I'm sorry"
Begins to mean nothing at all
Anger, frustration, and blatent rage
They all build up
'Till one day
I finally can't hold it in anymore
And I break
I shatter into oblivion
And you sit there and try to help
When all I really want
Is for you to leave me alone

Anticipation

I want to hear
The crunch of
The colorful fall leaves

I want to watch
The leaves change
And fall
One by one

I want to smell
The crisp autumn air

I want to feel
the brisk breeze
glide across my back
slide across my skin
and raise goosebumps

I want to feel
the chills crawl down my spine
Tingling my senses

I want for the
Anticipation
To dissipate

Over it.

I'm currently over:
Pain
Devastation
Anger
Frustratin
Crying
Lonliness
Nostalgia
Doctors
Hospitals
Uncertainty
RSD
Polymeiocitis
Depression
Therapy (of any sort)
Parents
Grandparents
Those people who claim to someone's best friend, and then don't have any idea what's going on
People who say that others aren't healing fast enough
People who don't listen
Medication
Exhaustion
Helplessness
Uselessness
Restrictions
Rules

Sorry, just a vent. I should be back to semi-not as angsty whining posts soon.

ME Time. (aka more teen angsty whining)

Something has been really frustrating me lately, and I didn't actually realize how much it had been bugging me 'till about 5 seconds ago. Weird, right?Anyway.

We're taught all our lives that everyone thinks differently. Everyone has a different perspective/outlook on life. And we always agree, because, well, quite frankly, it's TRUE. But then we forget to take into account all the different ways that people think and process information when we are trying to help them feel better.

Take me for example, I process things internally. Good things, bad things, anythings. It's the way I handle all the shit I'm dealt. I think about it, I work through it, I deal with it. In. MY. Head. On. My. Own. It's the way I've always been, and, in all honesty, prefer it to be. But when my friends try to help me feel better when I'm angry or sad or upset, they're all touchy feel-y "let's-give-you-a-hug-for-five-minutes-and-try-to-force-you-to-talk" about everything. And that's just not how I process, so I get frustrated (and hide it very well) but I know that they're trying to help so I force myself to calm down and accept the help that doesn't really help. When I'm upset, I don't want advice. I want someone to sit there and shut up and listen to me whine. I know it sounds selfish and bitchy, but you'd be surprised how much more helpful it is for me. And so....yeah. I deal. And I end up processing on my own--most of the time. And it's really really really hard sometimes when I don't get the chance to process on my own because of other people's agendas and "help".

Now, take some of my friends for examples. What helps them process is the "let's-give-you-a-hug-for-five-minutes-and-force-you-to-talk" kind of stuff--Completely not my style. I'm willing to do whatever to help them. And they know that, but they get frustrated when I use my type of processing situations (sit down, shut up, and listen) on them. So I use they're style. No problemo. It helps them feel better, so I do it. Then they process and all is well. But they don't usually realize that I process so much differently...so they use they're tactics on me....and I get really frustrated. But they usually get upset when I try to explain that.

But lately I've been letting go of myself. My personality, my style, my....meness. And I don't like it. I've been letting other people take care of my problems for me, to the point where I hardly know what's going on in my life anymore. I've been walking around like a completely different person...or at least that's what it's starting to feel like.

So essentially, I'm tired of not processing my life my way. I'm tired of not being me. And (just in case you didn't pick up on this a few posts ago) I'm tired of being told that my "issues" and "this thing that I've got going on" and my "depression" is all my fault. So it's time to start living--like me-- again.

What is Love? (In response to someone else's post)

Love is being able to say, "He/She is better than my dream guy/girl, he/she is real."
Love is being terrified of losing someone, but even more terrified of having them.
(To quote a really good friend of mine)When you find someone that makes you truly happy without them having to say anything, that is love.
Love is knowing that you would give up anything if it meant being able to stay with that one person.
Love is being able to take the risk, even when you know it'll hurt in the end.
Love is when that other person can "make the sun shine out of your ass". (For those who don't know, that last part was a quote from Juno.)
Love is.... indescribable.

Love is different for everyone. Nobody can give a concrete definition, and that's half of what makes it so scary. You can't define it, and it's different for everyone, but you have to find out what it's like for you. It's all based on your personality and views and experience. So I challenge you: 1. Look up the song "The Fear You Won't Fall" by Joshua Radin. 2. Live life, find out who you are, develop your views, make your own experiences, and find out what love is for you.

Ruined

Merriam-Webster's definition:
(to ruin): 1. to reduce to ruins, devastate; 2.a)to damage irreparably, b) bankrupt, impoverished; 3. to subject to frustration, failure, or disaster

My opinion on the best definition from this selection:
A mix of 3 and 2a.

My definition:
An adjective describing one whose mind has shattered into oblivion, one who cannot be put back together, no matter how many people try. To make what I think of as the perfect comparison, one who is like Humpty Dumpty. When all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put you back together again, you can officially be considered ruined.


Just a thought.

More Angst. Sorry.

So now, the one adult who figured out what's wrong and cared enough to try to help, my dad, blames it all on himself. I knew this would happen. I knew it. It's why I never said anything before. It's why it was easier when I just dealt with it on my own. I feel even worse now, because it's not his fault. It just isn't. But I can't explain it to him. I just can't get the words out. It's like everytime I think about telling him, someone rips out my voice box for a few seconds. And it never was his fault, but even when I start to be able to tell him, I can't get it through his thick skull. And he feels terrible, because he's blaming it all on himself, and that's not fair. It's no more his fault than it is mine. (Though various other people would disagree with me not being the cause). And it's just so frustrating. 'Cause he won't listen, and all I wanna say is, "Dad, it's not your fault. Yeah, I miss you, and it sucks that you're hardly ever around anymore, but whatever is going on with me, it's not your fault. I love you, and you could never be the reasoning behind that." I just wish I could a chance to really sit down and talk with him. I think it'd help a lot.

Angsty Whining Post (BEWARE!)

I'm tired of everything. I give up. I'm tired of putting on a stupid smile that's not real. I'm tired of hoping and hoping that when I say I'm fine, someone other than my best friend will tell me to stop lying and be honest. I'm tired of not having any time to myself because "I'm not participating enough in the family dynamic". I'm tired of being told that my problems are all my fault, that I'm the cause behind every negative effect. I'm tired of people saying, "But you've got (insert name here) and (insert more names here) and me, and we're all here for you." Because everybody says that, but hardly anyone follows through. And no matter what, when you put all your faith in other people, when you let other people pick up the pieces of your shattered mind and put it back together, someone always makes everything fall back apart. And then you have to try to put the pieces back together again. Or you pretend to so that people stop asking, and maybe you do feel better again, but eventually it all ends the same way. So what's the point? I'm giving up. Maybe now everything will be my own fault, and they'll all be right for once.

Untitled

The following is an entirely random (slightly depressing) poem. Kinda popped into my head today when I was at band practice. Enjoy:


Chest crushing pressure
Builds and builds
Till there's no room left to breathe
And there's no escape
There's never an escape.
You'd think I'd have learned by now
But no, why would I be logical
I just keep letting it happen
I keep gasping for breath
Trying to scream,
But it's not enough
And I slowly slip under
So I have to wonder...

Will I keep coming back up?

Bottle It Up

Sometimes I wish
There was a way
To bottle up the rain
Or sun

To open them up
On another day
When I'm happy
Or when I'm blue

To make the day better
Or give it some gloom
Not too much,
Just enough to make me think

About life and how
It's meant to be lived
About the best people
And my time with them

Sometimes I wish
There was a way
To bottle up the rain
Or sun

And save them for another time

His Eyes

I got lost in the color of your eyes
Just watching you be you
And never wanting to move
Time froze as our gazes locked
I never wanted it to thaw
And I never wanted to move
I just watched you being you
And got lost in the color of your eyes

Exhaustion

Exhaustion sucks. Being extremely tired all of the time gets really old, really fast. So does getting blood taken. And so do strep test swab thingies. Being sick and not knowing why is also very frustrating. I'm tired of being tired. This is my rant for the day.

Stubborn.

That's me. Stubborn, impatient, and falling apart. But what everyone tells me is different. I think they're wrong. They won't listen to me though. They keep going on saying that I'm brave and strong and confident and a protector. What they don't see is that on the inside where they've got pretty mansions and little houses and sunshine, I have decrepit apartments and run down warehouses and constant grey skies. It's so easy to put up that facade and glue on a smile and pretend everythings okay. It's better for them, and easier for me. 'Cause I know that if they could see me falling apart, they'd be terrified that their selfless "protector" is broken.

A Sinking Feeling

When all the others are rising up
One can be seen falling into the ground
Disappearing into the darkness
Sinking to the lowest of lows
She sits alone
And thinks of the pain
The suffering
The grief
The tumult
She's tired and bored
Never hungry, but she has to eat
She wants to be heard,
But her voice is gone
She wants to have a parent who will listen
Instead of saying she's just stressed
She's terrified.
Her friends are worried
And she keeps waiting
Listening to the clock tick down
To her ultimate destruction
And preparing for the impact
Of the crippling depression

I know this amazing kid.

She shall remain unnamed, but she knows who she is. She is my sister. My best friend. My stronghold. My shoulder to cry on. My person to lean on when I need a hand. She's the cold that wakes me when I'm numb. She's brave, strong, determined and.....she's lost hope. It kills me to see her like this. She's in pain 24/7. She has a nerve disorder called RSD, its also know as CRPS. Usually teens don't get it. But she beat those odds. She can't walk, she can't let anything touch her leg, and its spreading to her intestines. It sucks. She needs help, but she's too stubborn to let anyone help. And I'm the same way, so I understand and let her have her pride. But sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could really know what she's going through so I could know what to say when she calls crying because she's terrified she'll never walk again. I wish I could make it all disappear. But I can't. Which sucks. But she's amazing, because she's doing this insane thing. If you ask me, it's the best ability one can have. The ability to adapt. And that's what she does. She adapts, she works hard, she keeps going. And I know that she will keep going until she gets better. I just wish I could get her to realize all of this. Maybe this will help.

Imagine

Imagine your best friend in the entire world. Now imagine them being deathly ill. Imagine how terrified you would be when you found out about their illness. Then imagine planning your next visit (knowing very well it will be your last chance to talk to that best friend), and then finding out the next morning that they have already passed away. Imagine realizing that you will never see that person again, or talk to them, or wait for them to finish getting on their favorite shoes before going outside to sit on the porch and talk. Imagine realizing that you missed your last chance to ever be with that person again. And imagine how hard that would be to go through.

Now, imagine that it's two months later, your listening to a few people talk, and they mention the old west and cowboy boots. You burst into tears on the spot, or get as close to it as you do in public, because your best friend used to have one pair of cowboy boots that they always wore, because you still miss that best friend like hell. And when you randomly think about them, how much you want to share something with them, or something happens that reminds you of them, you burst into tears.

Imagine all those feelings. Every. Last. One. And give me the best adjective-a single word or small phrase-that you can think of to describe it. Here's mine: Living hell. And here's my second best: My life for the past month and a half.

Caitlyn.

That's my name, by the way. I figured if you're actually taking the time to read this silly little blog of mine, you deserve to know who I am.

Dilemmas.

What do you do when your best friend is in constant pain; when the one person who loves you unconditionally is terrified that she might lose the ability to walk? What do you do when you wish you were the one with the problem, just so she wouldn't have to go through something so awful? What do you do when you hate that you can't help? What do you do when one word is constantly running through your head: Useless. And you know that that's what you are. Useless. Because you can't help the people who mean the most to you. Tell me what you think.

Knock Knock

I want to help, I swear
And I wish I could tell you that
But I can't help someone
Who doesn't want the help
I can't help

Until you let me in

I want to help, I swear
But you won't admit you need it
And I can't do anything
Till you can deal with that
I can't help

Until you let me in

I want to help, I swear
And I know you want to be strong
But sometimes is takes more strength
To admit you need the help
Than to pretend there's nothing wrong

So please let me in

Complications

I'm not quite sure
What to do....
Could this be me,
Falling for you?

It's happened before,
Indeed, it's true
But could this be
Unlucky two?

Our friendship is strong
But I don't want to ruin it
Too much could go wrong
And I've hurt you enough

I'm not quite sure
What to do....
Could this be me,
Falling for you?

Simple Hair

It's happening again
She's think about all the things she
Could have...
Should have done
Just because of a haircut
And the lies she keeps telling
The stories don't help
"I was ready for a change"
When it's really because
He used to tell her
How beautiful it was
And everytime she looked in the mirror
Or started to play with those luscious locks
She thought of how much he loved those locks too
And how he always used to tell her how beautiful she was
"Especially with all that hair"
So she cut it all off
And it didn't help
And because of that silly little haircut,
It's starting all again
She's shutting down
And doesn't know how to stop

Worst Moments

When you hear
A rumor about someone you know

When your heart
Gets broken

When you lose
Someone you love

When you cry
For no reason at all

When you can't
Stand yourself

When you have
The worst moments

Your real friends
Will love and support you
Despite the tears, sadness
Pain and confusion

That's how you know
The real from the fake
One is always there
No matter what

And the other
Is only there
When it's convenient..
For them.

Found Something To Write About

So, I've been chilling here at Riley's house the past few days, and they have really helped my mood. I even came up with something to write about.

Everybody deserves to be able to choose what they want to do in their lives (I'm talking career-wise). Nobody should pressured into a job that they don't want just because their relatives want them to be in a particular field of work. Take me, for example. I love engineering, and at one point I was absolutely positive that I was going to be an architect or structural engineer when I grow up. Now, I still love it, but I've been thinking about some other career options. My mom still has her mind set on me being an engineer. And I have friends who "want" to be doctors or business schmucks behind desks in a chair in a nice 9 to 5 office job. Is that really what they want? NO. It is merely what their parents and grandparents have told them that they will do, whether they like it or not. Which isn't fair. One of the friends would rather be an artist or graphic designer. But her parents refuse to accept that as an option for her. And it isn't fair. And if you ask them, they got to chose what to do with their lives. But they won't allow their children to have the same freedom they did. Can you say double standard? I know I can. It just gets on my last nerves.

Writer's Block..

Sucks completely. I have been so caught up in my head the past few days, yet still completely unable to find anything to write about. I've been in a slump....okay, so I've been in really crappy mood, but you know, that's what happens to hormonal teenage girls. So, tonight I've been hanging out with my best friend ever, adn we have been watching chick flicks. Oh the joy! You should check out her post about it. (thislittleblogofmineiamgoingtoletshin.blogspot.com) She's the coolest kid I know, and she has really awesome writing skills.

So, yeah, I'm gonna keep thinking. And you can keep reading...or skimming..or power reading...or completely ignoring my little blog. Thanks.

Random Act (of Kindness?)

I was reading a friend's blog, the post was titled "Random Acts of Kindness", and it reminded me of something she had once said. It inspired me to write a comment...which I ended up not posting, because I ended up making this blog and then writing this post. So now I'm making a post and dedicating it to her. Here's to you, Riley.

There's always someone who loves you
You're always someone's favorite
And you're never alone, even on the lonliest of days
For, the spirits of those who love you
Are never far away
In fact, they are closer than you may know
Because they never leave your heart

Love you Riley. You're a sister to me and you know I'll always be here for you.

Intro...(How original)

I'm going to be a dork and conform...not that anyone is ever really gonna read this....ANYWAY, so I guess I should explain the title of this blog. I always get my best ideas (and philosophical ramblings) late at night. Now, "Late Night Ramblings" Would have been just as good of a title as the one I chose, but I decided to keep an even number of words. I have no clue why, but I did. So that's the story behind the title. Now for the rest of the story.

I guess I just want somewhere to be able to post my random thoughts. Maybe someone will read them, and maybe they won't. I could always type my thoughts in a Word Document and save them and keep them to myself, but that defeats the purpose of writing them at all in my opinion. You see, if you write something and don't share it, especially if its something you're proud of, or something that you think could help some random person in their life, and you keep it to yourself, why write it at all? Why not just keep it to yourself in your head? I dunno. I could be way off base or out of line with that, but it's just the way I feel.

I am just an average person. With a more than average life. It may seem pretty average to the outside passerby, but to me, it's way more than average. I have talents that my family supports, friends that love me and help me, a family that typically loves and supports me, a roof over my head, clothes on my body, shoes on my feet, food in my stomach, and words in my head that I am ready to express. I have everything I could ever need. And that is what makes my life so great. But that's just me.

So I have all these words and ideas, and I have now made a place to put them out there for other people to possibly discover. I have been told that I have a gift. I was never told what it is. But I play trumpet, and I'm not great at that. I sing, but I'm not great at that either. If I had to give my best guess, I'd say it's writing, though in my opinion I'm not too great with it either. But if that's my gift, I figure I have to share it. 'Cause what good is a gift if you don't share it with those around you? And you know....I've got a whole world of people around me to share with.

So this is my incredibly long Intro...and this is it's conclusion:

I am you're typical teenage girl. I have parents, siblings, and a messy room (Btw I couldn't live without music. Kind of a love of mine). But I have ideas and crazy thoughts buzzing around in my head that I want to share. And this is my place to share them. So enjoy :)